Money is one of those things you’re not supposed to mention in polite conversation. But if you’re married or in a serious relationship, you have to talk about it.

My boyfriend is the spender; I’m the saver. He’s never had any guidance on how to manage money; my dad had me putting money in a savings account while I was still in the cradle. Coming from such different angles meant that starting the conversation about money wasn’t easy.

But it doesn’t have to be something you dread if you follow a few simple principles. Most importantly, pay attention to how your significant other views money, because that will help you learn how to best communicate what you’re thinking and feeling.

It would have done little to no good if I had immediately emphasized IRAs and CDs and how much money he can make in twenty years if he starts saving now.